The Feminine Touch
by GrimmUlquigrrrl
Summary: Five minutes. That was all it took for everything Grimmjow had ever known to change, turned abruptly on its head. All she wants is to go back to being a he- but what will happen when she does? Is it two changes too many? And what's up with Ulquiorra?
1. Chapter 1

Grimmjow groaned. Damn Aizen and his stupid orders- and this was definitely the worst. What sort of phsyco _ordered_his subordinates to pick a potion, any potion? Szayel, of course, looked ecstatic as he pulled out five beakers and set them on the wooden table. They bubbled, sickly, and Grimmjow gulped. Oh, that looked so bad.

"Well," the crazy genius said, "feel free to pick one at your leisure. Oh, but don't take _too_ long. You aren't the only one that has to choose." Grimmjow glared at him. God, that little prick! "I would suggest that you stop looking t me and look to my potions"- the way he said it he might as well have been saying 'babies'- " for Aizen-sama has said that you must choose. Grimmjow 'tch'ed, tearing his eyes from the Octava to survey the flasks. One was bright red, one acid green, a yellow, a blue and a pick. And Grimmjow had to choose from that? A little growl formed in the back of his throat as he stared them down. He wasn't any good at observations! But if he chose wrong, who knew what would happen to him? Agh, why did he have to do this?

He buckled down and tried his hardest to figure out which ones wouldn't kill him. The red one looked like lava, so that was out. It would probably melt him from the inside out, or something like that. The yellow we the color of mustard, which was pretty gross in itself, but if it weren't for the constant high-rate fizzing Grimmjow might have gone for it. The green was out of the running too, because anything that looked like something that could burn through metal probably wasn't good for you. That left him between the pink and blue. Both looked completely harmless. They didn't glow or anything anyway. Grimmjow peered intently at them, but no matter how hard he looked he just occlude't find any clues.

Which one, which one? Well, the pink wasn't as neon as the blue, so maybe... But the blue didn't bubble as much, so... But, still, there was less of the pink- but that could mean it was more potent than the blue... But maybe Szayel did that on purpose to make Grimmjow think like that and the blue was really the more potent... Still, pink was such a wimpy color, so could anything pink really hurt him? ... But blue _was_ his lucky color, right? "Do you need me to choose _for_ you?" Szayel asked. Grimmjow growled.

"Shut up!" he yelled, grabbing the blue up. "I'll take this one!" He wasn't a person who paid too much attention to stuff, so he missed the way Szayel's queer little golden eyes lit up behind his glasses, but even he could tell that Szayel stood up a little straighter. He suddenly second-guessed himself. "I, uh, on the other hand..." he said awkwardly, trying t go back and change his decision.

"Ah-ah-ah," Szayel said, shaking a finger, "you made your choice. Now, bottoms up!" Grimmjow blanched. Aw, shit. He looked down at the vial in his hand nervously. Bottoms up. It could't be that bad, right?

It felt like he swallowed liquid mint, the weird, wintergreen chill slithering down hi throat. Ti didn't taste like mint, though. Actually, Grimmjow could't tell _what_ it tasted like. He figured maybe tat was a good thing. He gulped it down quickly, feeling it like a rock in his stomach, and slammed the beaker down. "There," he gasped "Done." was it just him, or did Szayel look like somebody had just told him he'd won the lottery?

"Excellent," the pink-haired geek sad. "Thank you, Grimmjow. Send the next one in." Grimmjow looked at him oddly.

"Really? That's it?" he asked. "I don't feel any- I mean, uh, sure. Fine, see ay," he covered as he quickly booked it out the door. Who knew what other sort of concoction Szayel would force down his throat if he found out that the potion had no effect? Grimmjow wasn't about to bring that hell on himself. "Oi, Yammy, you're up," he said, hurrying away. Thank _God._ He practically bolted his bedroom door shut once he was away from that freak. He had gotten out alive!

He deflated, slumping over to his bed in relief. The whole ordeal was over, and he felt fine. Except, his stomach kind of churned a little. But that wasn't a problem, and anybody would feel a little like puking after going in that lab. Grimmjow stared up at the ceiling. Damn, he'd never been lucky before, not that he was complaining or anything. It was kind of nice to have fate on your side. Where had predestination been when he was alive?

Grimmjow shifted a little on his bed. Huh. It felt like... A little hot. Grimmjow shrugged it off, along with his shirt. There, that was better. But not for long. He got real uncomfortable, real fast, the heat becoming like a pit in his stomach. It felt like he was scorching on the inside. All his skin began to tingle. Oh, fuck! He started up, his muscles barely working to get him off his bed, as f they were in the process of reforming and could't support any weight at all.

He stumbled toward the window, his legs as insubstantial as jelly. He tripped over the edge of his rug and had to run to keep up with his new momentum, colliding with the wall. He fumbled with the window, the weakness in his legs spreading to his arms as he tried desperately to _open__the__damn__window._ He needed air. Where was the air? It finally slid open, but he still could't breathe.

He backed away from the fake sunlight, the whole room spinning wildly around him. The rock in him swelled and burned, and oh, hell, it hurt! It felt like his innards were twisting around a red-hot iron rod.

In the lab down the hall, Szayel Apollo Granz smirked. "Five, four, three, two-" a high scream split launches, startling everyone but him.

He should have started his countdown one second earlier.


	2. Chapter 2

"Szayel!" Grimmjow screeched, crashing into the lab. Oh, shit, girl voice! Szayel looked up coolly.

"Nice to see you back again, Grimmjow," he said "Care to close the front of your shirt?" Grimmjow glanced down, only then realizing that his... Her boobs were out in the open. He... She yelped, for some reason embarrassed to be showing people that, and clutched at the ends of her jacket. It was queer how his... Her mid-length hair hung by her face in waves as she looked don.

"Szayel, what the fuck did you do to me?" she yelled accusingly, glaring daggers at the pinkie, who was now taller than he by jut a little bit.

"Clearly, Grimmjow, my potion turned you into a female," Szayel said matter-of-factly, adjusting his glasses.

"When does it wear off?" Grimmjow demanded shrilly. Girl voice, girl voice, girl voice...

"I don't know," Szayel shrugged.

"WHAAAAT?" Grimmjow cried, smacking at the wall as she stared Szayel down.

"I said, I don't know," Szayel repeated calmly, rearranging specimens on one of his shelves. "That was why we were dispensing those potions; we needed guinea pigs to test them. I'm glad it worked."

"Shut up!" Grimmjow screamed. "Reverse it!"

"I don't have a way to," Szayel said. "There was the pink potion, but Aaroniero took it." Grimmjow blanched.

"So if I'd taken the pink one I would have been fine?" she asked. Oh, no shit.

"Not necessarily," Szayel said. "I'm still waiting to see what the extra dose of hormones will do to Aaroniero. It should be interesting." Grimmjow growled, taking a step forward. Both of her hands fell to her sides and balled into fists, her (way too long!) nails digging into her palms. She felt a draft across her front and immediately her hand flew to her jacket again.

"So you're telling me," she seethed, "that I am _stuck__like__this?_"

"More or less," Szayel said, unperterbed. "Now, you should go see Hallibel. I'm sure there are female things you ought to know." Grimmjow's hand tightened on her jacket. Well, fine then, she thought. I'm sure that those pretty glass jars if someone slammed the door hard enough. Based on the sound of breaking glass and Szayel's pained cry, she would say she was right.

She frowned, looking left and right. Ah, shit, which way was Hallibel's room? Grimmjow blinked as she became aware of a tiny, odd reiatsu. At first she thought it was someone coming from farther down the hall, but when she turned around to see if she could see whoever it was she nearly jumped out of her skin at the weird _thing_ that was standing right next to her. It looked at her weirdly. "What the fuck are you?" she said in disgust. She _thought_ it was an arrancar... "Wait, are you one of Szayel's fraccion?" She'd heard that all of Szayel's fraccion were hollows he'd once experimented on, so that explained the strange little lump-thing. It didn't really have a shape... Wait, was Grimmjow musing? She grimaced.

"Yup, yup!" the little thing said, bouncing up and down like a kid on a sugar high. "You need help? Tootsie help you!" Grimmjow blinked, immediately seeing how she could use this. She put on a sweetly malicious smile.

"Yes," she said smoothly. "You know, I don't know which way to go."

"Really?" Tootsie asked excitedly, rolling around like a little dipshit. Grimmjow let her smile grow more predatory as she watched it. "Where you need? You need go where? Tootsie tell you!"

"I need to go to Hallibel-chan's room," Grimmjow cooed, her stomach turning a little at the way she'd referred to the Tetra even though she knew it made her seem less frightening to this ting. "You know, the Third Espada? I don't know how to get there from here."

"Tootsie know, Tootsie know!" Tootsie chirped. "You go down _that_ hall! Then you down down little hall to left! Then you there!"

"Thank you, Tootsie," Grimmjow said, letting her face morph into a bloodthirsty battle-eagerness. "You were very helpful." She pounced even as Tootsie looked at her in confusion. That look, in fact, that face, was gone after Grimmjow thrust one hand forward and skewered Tootsie's head like she had Luppi's stomach. Blood spattered everywhere, streaking across her face as her eyes widened with her smile, her other hand coming up to punch a hole in the formless mound that was in front of her.

She kept pounding on that dead body, slowly becoming accustomed to her new arm reach. Bones crunched-who knew that thing had any?- under her knuckles, and she poured out her anger into her every punch. It felt damn good. She cackled, kicking the mutilated body one last time. She knew how unhappy Szayel would be to open his door and see that bloody mess; it would mean having to make a new fraccion, and ti was sure that would annoy the little pink-haired sonofabitch. She walked off, leaving bloody footprints behind her has she grabbed the flapping ends of her jacket to close them again.

When Hallibel opened the door, she seemed more unhappy with the evidence of Grimmjow's kill all over her body than the fact that said body was clearly female. Still, Hallibel stepped aside to let Grimmjow in. As the door closed behind the two, Hallibel said, "Szayel told me that someone would be coming to see me. I trust you haven't killed him."

"I didn't," Grimmjow said, looking around her. Hallibel had a large open room that led into her bedroom, with a table and a couch and two chairs. The ceiling was shaped like an egg top, and it felt weird. "I killed one of his fraccion. He deserved it." Hallibel just sighed.

"Well, there are some things on the table for you," Hallibel said. "Wait- I'll get them for you." Grimmjow scoffed. Of course, Hallibel didn't want her guest to trail blood through her white room. "There are some panties here that won't show through the gaps in your hokum, should you feel like wearing them. I also have some hair ties for your hair, again should you want them, some small most earrings with sharpened tips so you can pierce your ears yourself, and some shaving razors." Grimmjow took all of the items awkwardly. Panties? "Most women arrancar don't have shirts that will really allow them to wear bras and of course I wouldn't know what size you would be, so I didn't include one. Although you do appear to be about my size so should you feel uncomfortably bouncy you may borrow one of mine."

"Gee, thanks, Hallibel," Grimmjow rolled her eyes. Only then did she come to an awkward awareness of how _big_ she was.

"Female arrancar do not have periods," Hallibel continued, ignoring Grimmjow's comment along with the bluenette's little shiver of disgust at the thought of a period, "so you needn't worry about that. Because of this you also cannot get pregnant, so should you engage in any activities you don't need to take precautions."

"Ew," Grimmjow said, imagining having sex the way she was right now. No way- she couldn't take being bottom, and besides, wouldn't that make her in some way gay?

"You can say that now," Hallibel said, "but as a male I understand you had quite the libido-"

"Oh, so my reputation precedes me," Grimmjow said proudly.

"-That isn't a good thing," Hallibel said. Grimmjow cocked a brow. Why not? "In any case, it may be difficult for you to suddenly abstain. Also, your hormones have changed. Szayel mentioned to me that you may need emotional guidance because of this."

"I don't need any 'emotional guidance,'" Grimmjow scoffed. "I'm just fine."

"I had a feeling that whoever took that potion would say as much," Hallibel said, "and so took the liberty to as Aizen-sama to make it an official order that you must see me once a agreed."

"What?" Grimmjow snapped.

"Yes," Hallibel said, as if hearing the internal NO WAY! that was going off in Grimmjow's head. "As a man, and due to your character, you have naturally kept your feelings from others and dealt with them yourself- usually pursuing them as anger in battle. But that is not as easy for a woman, and the newfound intensity of your emotions may catch you off guard. You will find that you cannot handle your feelings the way you have up until now. That is what I will be here for. The weekly meetings are mandatory, but you may come to see me whenever you feel you need. Everything said stays between the two of us, so you needn't worry about that either."

Grimmjow's lip curled. "Great. Perfect," she said sarcastically. "I'm going now." She turned around and stalked back across the trail she'd made toward the door. She hoped Hallibel had hell trying to get the blood out of her carpet.

"Do not attempt to harm any of my fraccion," Hallibel said calmly. "And Grimmjow- you may wish to close the front of your shirt." Grimmjow looked down; she'd forgotten that she'd let go of the cloth to hold all of the shit Hallibel had for her.

She growled and slammed the door.


	3. Chapter 3

You know, if it weren't for the unusual weight on top of her chest Grimmjow might've forgotten what happened. But, since that weight was very uncomfortably there, when she woke up she knew precisely the situation she was in. She growled a little, her eyes still closed. Well, this was just shit. Total shit. Because of fucking Aizen. Grimmjow went from a he to a she and had to stay that way for who-knows-how-long. _And,_ she had to go see that bastard for the meeting in...she checked the clock by her bed- and hour. Great. Who wouldn't thought that Szayel would have something that could do that anyway?

Grimmjow heaved herself up out of bed with difficulty- it was weird how her breasts dragged her down. She sat up, rubbing her head and getting her fingers caught in her voluminous hair in a way she never did before, shaking out her shoulders. It hand't felt quite right to sleep nude, so she'd put on a pair of Hallibel's panties- but that had felt even weirder, and she'd had to take them off to get to bed. So, she was naked. She looked down and saw her...intimate parts, which made her blush. The only time she'd seen that as a guy was right before he'd tapped one. It'd be awkward having one now.

She stood up, shaking out her legs and realizing how long they were as she turned her mind away from her newest acquired parts. It wasn't easy to do. All she wanted was to get dressed so she wouldn't feel so...sexual, but she knew she should get a shower first. Not that she was getting all grossed out and girly, but they had that meeting. Even as a man, she hand't liked being all dirty and shit for formal stuff. She hurried into her adjoining bathroom, trying hard not to look in the mirror.

She quickly turned on the water, waiting for it to warm up before she got in. She felt her eyes sliding over to the mirror. She kind of wanted to know what she looked like...not because she cared really, but she was curious. A look couldn't hurt, right? She felt steam brush by her and turned back to the now warm shower, a little surprised. Well, she could look after.

She got in, the water almost scalding. Just the way she liked it. She scrubbed down like always, turning her mind and hands away from her added things, then grabbed the shampoo. She looked at it for a second, then squirted more than normal onto her hand, thinking of the wet mess of her hair sticking to her back. It was mid-length, not terribly long-it only reached halfway down her shoulder blades when it was dry- but a hell of a lot longer than it used to be. Heavier too. She lathered the shampoo into it, the suds, running down her face, before washing it out in the stream of water.

She was about to get out when she caught sight of the razor. She looked at it, the idea of shaving anything but her face foreign...but she looked down at her legs, and they were grossly hairy for a woman. She grimaced, knowing that she wouldn't have been turned on by _that_as a guy. _Not_ that she was aiming to turn _any_body on, _no__way,_but she didn't want to be that disgusting chick either. She grabbed the razor.

She stood in front of the mirror, fully clothed. She figured it would be a bad idea to stare at herself totally naked and dripping wet in case the dude part of her mind- which was all of it!- got all creepy about it. She looked at herself- and damn, she liked what she saw.

Her hair was still wild, but sleek too, falling with volume around her full face without the normal spikiness. She was still tan, her lips full and just a shade darker, her blue eyes shining and almond-shaped with her triangle tattoos still there. Her hollow bone was still there too, clearly, but it was a little more slender. She had lost the definition of her muscles, though she could feel that they were still there, her curves soft and feminine. Her hips were nice in a way she didn't know how to describe, her legs incredibly long (and hair free). Her limbs tapered off into her hands and feet, her fingers slender and artistic and tipped with well-manicured nails. For some reason, her hollow hole was higher on her stomach, in the center instead of nestled in her pelvis. She had _big_ boobs.

She frowned, looking at them. She had her jacket on, but it did nothing at all to cover her chest. She fiddled with the edges. She couldn't go to the meeting with her junk hanging out, she had to do something about that. She tilted her head, trying to figure out what she could do- she sure as hell wasn't going to Hallibel.

She fooled with the jacket for a few minutes until it occurred to her to tie the ends together at the bottom. She'd thought it'd be square an over nearly everything, but it actually created a swooping v-neck that left her pretty exposed. Well, it covered what needed to be covered, so...too bad. She could't mess with it anymore, she only had...five minutes to get there? Shit! She bolted out the door, using her sonido to speed down the hallway. If she was late, _again..._

She burst through the doors and into the meeting room, letting her momentum carry her to her chair and sliding in breathlessly before realizing that all eyes were on her. She looked around awkwardly- everyone was staring at her in blatant disbelief, eyes wide, and she felt incredibly naked- probably because she practically was. Or maybe it had more to do with the fact that everyone was staring at her boobs. The only people that weren't were Szayel, Hallibel and Ulquiorra; actually, Ulquiorra didn't look shocked so much as vaguely interested in the change, though Grimmjow couldn't tell. This _was_Ulquiorra, after all.

She resisted the urge to shrink away from all those eyes, leaning back and crossing her arms awkwardly, putting on the angry look she'd always had before. She may have become a chick, but she was still Grimmjow Jaegerjaques.

"Well, then," Aizen said, "shall we begin? I am aware that we are still missing Aaroniero and Zommari, but I will leave it up to Szayel to explain why. Go on, Szayel."

"Right," Szayel said, adjusting his glasses and looking up like he was trying to flirt with everyone in the room. "As you are all aware, I've used the lower Espada to test some prototype potions. Clearly, at least one did its job," he said, and everyone looked at Grimmjow and snickered. Grimmjow's teeth found a way to bare themselves. "I'll start low and work my way up," Szayel said.

"Yammy took the acidizing potion," he started. "It dissolved his stomach, but I had a spare in case that happened. From this point forward, his blood will be acidic enough to boil away concrete, at least as far as my tests have seen to this point." Grimmjow could see why that would be useful in battle; all Yammy would have to do was let himself get cut, and then when his opponent got the blood on him he would dissolve into nothing.

"Aaroniero chose the potion oppositional to that of Grimmjow's. It would have turned a female into a male, but since Aaroniero was already male it gave him a massive dose of male hormones. He is being kept in a holding cell in my laboratory for safety's sake- it seems as though the extra testosterone is making him incredibly volatile, and is mind is beginning to fray due to the stress on his body. I'm keeping close watch, but so far nothing novel has happened to him. It should wear off in a few weeks." Grimmjow's heart skipped a beat; did that mean that her potion would wear off too?

Szayel continued, saying, "Zommari was so unfortunate as to take the red potion, which was a chemical imitation of the heat energy of lava. He's in excruciating pain right now, but I'm also observing him in case of any change. I had no idea what might have come of that particular potion, and I'm still trying to find a use for it.

"I took the bright lights potion. It changes the way my brain receives the information from my eyes, enhancing how well I can see in any degree of darkness. The only side effect is that any light with substance stuns me momentarily, as I've become rather photosensitive.

"Then there's Grimmjow," he said, and snickers reigned again. Grimmjow scowled. "As you can see, our Sexta Espada is no longer a male. He took the opposite potion to Aaroniero, and now he is a she. It don't know how long this will last, or how complete the change is. She may still have a man's mentality, or she may develop a woman's mindset. There isn't any way to know just yet, but there's plenty of time." Grimmjow growled a little. The way he'd said that made it sound like she would never go back, and she _had_ to go back. How was someone supposed to do anything if they can't even look at themselves naked?

"You'll figure out a way to change me back though, _right_ Szayel?" she said threateningly. Shit, she just didn't sound intimidating anymore!

"Yes, Szayel," Aizen said, "I do believe that you will have to attempt to find a way to reverse the effects."

"Actually, I've thought about it," Szayel said. "It sounded fascinating to try it- but it won't work. Unfortunately, all my calculations have pointed me to the fact that trying to change Grimmjow back would stress her body to the point that even an arrancar can't take. The chances of complete breakdown of all functions and tissues are 3,751,697 to one, the one being the lone possibility of it working."

"I don't care!" Grimmjow shouted standing up and slamming her hands down on the table. The glasses of tea teetered and rippled. "I'll take the chance, and if I die it's on _your_ head for doing this in the first place!"

"Now, now, Grimmjow," Aizen said calmly, "you are my precious Sexta Espada. I do not wish to loose you." Grimmjow rounded on him.

"Like hell!" she shouted. "You don't give a flying fuck about any of us, you damn-!" She choked as a massive reiatsu smothered her, putter her hand on the table again as her legs threatened to give way. "Guh!" she grunted, her upper body crumpling under the weight. She couldn't breathe.

"I understand that you have found yourself in a difficult situation, Grimmjow," Aizen said calmly, "but if you would be so kind as to limit your outbursts, it would be appreciated." The weight went away and Grimmjow fell to her knees, gasping for air. She glared at Aizen from under her bangs. "Now then, is there anything else we ought to know, Szayel?"

"No, nothing else," Szayel confirmed.

"Then you are all aware of the facts," Aizen said. "Please act according to them, and you are free to go."

As people were filing out and Grimmjow began to stand up Starrk walked over and stood above her. She looked at him, glaring weakly. "Do you need some help?" the Primera Espada asked, taking her elbow as if to help her up. She jerked away harshly, staring at him in angered disbelief; was Starrk trying to _hit__on__her?_

"HELL no!" she cried. Starrk took his hand back and shrugged.

"Alright," he said. "But if you ever do need help-"

"I won't," Grimmjow snarled, quickly making her way out the door. Alt he way she could feel Starrk's eyes watching her, and hat creeped her out like fuck. She knew that she had just been crushed on, by a guy, which was absolutely disgusting in every way. Had Starrk really forgotten already that she was really a he? Because she was. No matter what shit Szayel said, Grimmjow was still a guy in the head and always would be. So why the hell was Starrk trying for her? The dumbass must have been crazy.

She went straight back to her room.


	4. Chapter 4

Grimmjow paced around her room, her bare feet clapping against he floor furiously. She _hated_ feeling like a caged animal. Granted, she had caged herself, but whatever.

She was still trying to convince herself that she didn't care what people thought about her sudden transformation, but slowly she was failing. She'd locker herself in here since the meeting a few days ago, and at the beginning of her internment she'd been so pissed that it hand't been hard to hole herself away. It also hand't been hard to say she did it because she didn't want to have to deal with any more morons like Starrk. But, well... She never had been good when left along with her thoughts. When she was a guy, she'd usually just go kill stuff.

Not that she was against good old fashioned gore now just because she didn't have a dick anymore. That didn't mean she didn't still have balls. She would _love_ to go sink her hand into some poor idiot's gut, but she _could__'__t__go__outside._She liked to think that she just didn't want to run into Starrk, but she knew in the back of her mind that it wasn't true. She didn't want to go where anyone would look at her and murmur behind her back and gossip about whether or not she could still hold her position in the Espada.

The notion that she could't was ridiculous. Of course she could! She had taken the whole first day of her imprisonment just to reassess her physical strength,and everything that she could do before she could do just as well now. She'd discovered that even though her muscles were concealed by a womanly layer of soft stuff they were still very definitively there. Her muscle memory hand't vamoosed either. She _knew_ she could kick the ass of anybody who tried to take her precious rank.

She tapped her foot aggravatedly. She didn't have anything to do, and it was driving her crazy. Her fraccion learned the hard way that she was still as irritable as ever when bored, and now not a one of them had tried to talk to her since that lesson. Actually, a part of her was annoyed by that. Not that she wanted to have to talk about anything with them, since they were all morons, and besides that they would think she was getting girly and shit, wanting to 'talk about' her life. But still, yelling at them would have provided at least some momentary relief from her boredom.

Speaking of 'talking about' her shit, she had to go to Hallibel in three days. She rolled her eyes. Uh, fuck no. She was _not_ going to sit there and have a nice little girl-to-girl chat with facing Hallibel. Besides the fact that there wasn't anything to say, she really hated hearing herself talk. Her voice was alto all of a sudden instead of bass, and a lot of the growl she'd had as a man had been smoothed out. As if she needed any reminders of her condition. She was still having problems looking at herself naked.

She inwardly groaned, thinking of yesterday when she'd gone to take a shower and had tried it. Looking at herself, she'd come to a new awareness of her _very_ sexy body. Man, she was a bombshell! Suddenly she couldn't blame Starrk so much. If a chick with a body like that walked in, Grimmjow would snuggle up to her too.

Trouble was, she'd gotten kind of turned on staring at herself like that. It was really weird and different; there hand't been any pulsing below the belt, nothing stood up, nothing really happened with her body- except her nipples got stiff. It was 100% mental, and totally unlike anything she'd ever felt as a guy. It was so...queer. She'd kind of had a headache after that.

She stumbled over a box, nearly falling flat on her face. She cussed loudly, doing a little hopping number away from the box. Fuck, that hurt! She glared daggers at the box. Why the fuck was there a box, filled with books, in the middle of her fucking floor? Oh yeah, Ichimaru- the fucker- had dumped them on her, like, two months ago and se'd never bothered to put them away or anything. Then it hit her like a- like a box of books. Books! She could read! Now, normally she'd be all "No fucking way am I reading any shitty books!" but, y'know, she was really bored. And it's not like anyone could see her, right? She picked up a book.

It wouldn't hurt to try it.


	5. Chapter 5

"Grimmjow, it's time to go to your first session with Hallibel," Aizen's droning voice said from who-knows-where. Grimmjow had yet to find where the sound came into her room.

Grimmjow scoffed, sitting on her couch with her feet crossed over the far armrest. She didn't even look up from her book. "She can come to me, I ain't movin'." There was no sound indicating she'd been heard, but she knew she had. She'd learned the hard way when she'd shouted at Aizen to shut up one morning when the announcement had come that there was a meeting to be held immediately, when she was a guy. That had sucked. She went back to her book, which was a recounting of a real, high-level mission Ichimaru had been on. He didn't write the book, but he'd bought it. It was a hit in SeiReiTei, apparently. It was action-packed, at least.

Her door opened a few minutes later, and Hallibel walked in calmly. Grimmjow still didn't look up. "Good afternoon, Grimmjow," she said formally, sitting on the edge at Grimmjow's bed as it was painfully clear that Grimmjow wasn't making room for her. Grimmjow made a noncommittal sound. "I see you've found something to occupy yourself."

"Uh-huh," Grimmjow said. "And you're interrupting it."

"These meetings are mandatory, Grimmjow," Hallibel said. Grimmjow heard the underlying order and rolled her eyes, earmarking her page and putting the book on the table. She crossed her arms but still didn't make room.

"What?" she asked.

"Define what you mean, Grimmjow," Hallibel said tolerantly.

"I mean, what?" Grimmjow said. "Whatever girly shit you have to say to me, say it and get out. I'm reading."

"That's not how this will work," Hallibel said. "You have to talk with me if I'm to give you any advice."

"I don't want advice. I'm fine," Grimmjow said petulantly.

"Which is why you're huddling alone in your room, refusing to see any living being," Hallibel said pointedly."

Grimmjow growled, sitting up. "Are you saying I'm chicken to go out there, just 'cause I have boobs?" she asked mutinously.

"It appears so from my perspective."

"Like fuck," Grimmjow glared.

"You find yourself suddenly trying to adjust to a new body and lifestyle, which is difficult enough. You've spent all your life as an arrancar until now convincing everyone that you are a debonair, strong, in-control man, and now that you are a woman you subconsciously fear how the others will see you. The kind of impression you'll leave. You fear you've lost your power in their eyes. Considering how you were received at our last meeting, it is highly understandable."

"I ain't afraid of shit," Grimmjow growled.

"I saw Starrk's attempt to woo you. Fro someone who still considers herself a man, attention of the romantic kind from a male would be incredibly unfamiliar and unwanted. Given your physique, it is possible for it to happen again. Surely you wish to avoid this."

"That doesn't mean I'm _scared._"

"You may not perceive it as fear consciously."

"It ain't _fear._"

"Have you sparred yet with someone whose level you know well? I would suggest doing so, to reassure yourself of your strength and restore some of your confidence. You are quite a lovely woman, so you can still continue with your heartbreaker lifestyle if that would aid in your adjusting."

"I am _not_ having sex with another _man._"

"How are you going to sexually relieve yourself, then? You are well-known to know your say around a woman's body, yet I anticipate you are awkward about touching yourself. Your previous libido will catch up with you sooner or later."

"No it won't."

"Many women find that their fingers are not enough. If you should require something thicker, I can procure something for you."

Grimmjow leapt up, cheeks flaming. "Shut. Up. Shut up! I'm not afraid, or sexually frustrated, or freaked out that a guy hit on me! I'm living my life, and if I don't want to be around people then I won't be! And I _don't_ want to be around you." Grimmjow shook in her fury. She had heard more than enough, and she hadn't wanted to listen to begin with. Hallibel looked completely unfazed by the outburst, almost like she was expecting it. She stood easily.

"I'll see myself out," she said. "And I'll see you next week." Grimmjow's glare followed her out the door.

Grimmjow screeched and flipped over her table.

.:!:.:!:.:!:.:!:.:!:.:!:.:!:.:!:.:!:.:!:.

Grimmjow had finished her book, and officially had nothing to do but sit and think. She wasn't thinking about what Hallibel had said yesterday, no, no way, but she really wanted a good spar. She hadn't had one since the Szayel thing, so she supposed she should. Not to test her own power or anything, she knew she was still plenty able to hold her spot as the Sexta Espada, but she wanted to really stretch out her muscles. She was getting stiff just sitting around.

"Shawlong!" she called out, trying to sound authoritative. She stepped into the hall, not wanting to demolish her rom, and could feel the draw of reishi as Shawlong sonidoed to kneel in front of her. To his credit, he kept his face completely neutral despite the fact that this was the first time he'd seen her as a female.

"You called for me, Grimmjow-sama?" he asked, with the same utmost respect as always. The normalcy felt almost out of place.

"We're sparring," she said, passing him. "Come on."

She found that she had less power in her kickoff when she leapt into sonido, and that held try every time her feet hit the ground. But she was smaller, more aerodynamic, and her speed was only slowed a little. But she grit her teeth angrily anyway. Shit! To her, it felt like she'd gone from a cheetah to a fat housecat, even though she still outdistanced Shawlong by meters, and she immediately felt more vulnerable. She'd spend hours getting back up to where she had been.

They stopped once they were outside, and the spar was on.

Grimmjow spun around and delivered a surprise roundhouse kick, only to find her legs shorter than she'd anticipated. Her ankle nicked Shawlong's torso, but didn't do any damage. She recovered by using her force to spin herself around, crouching low and sweeping her leg under Shawlong's. Shawlong hopped over it, and Grimmjow sprung away to avoid his retaliating hit. She edged back in, ducking under an open-palm punch made to shatter noses and delivering a punishing knuckle hit to Shawlong's gut.

There was a whoosh of air, and Shawlong flew backwards. He landed on his feet and slid, but Grimmjow could see she'd winded him. He rushed back in, and Grimmjow leapt up and pulled her feet to her rear to let him dash right under her. She had jumped with more power than she found was necessary, in an attempt to counter her lesser leg strength, and spun just slightly out of control in the air. She found herself going to the ground head first, and landed on her hands before rolling safely.

Shawlong was looping back at her, drawing his zanpakuto, and Grimmjow's hand immediately went to her own hip- only to find that she'd left her zanpakuto in her room. Shit! She'd been so distracted by boredom that she'd lacking the foresight to bring it! She jumped aside, and Shawlong's black platted against the ground harmlessly. Grimmjow kicked harshly at Shawlong's elbow joint while the sword was still extended in front of him, feeling the joint give way under her heel with a crack. Shawlong dropped his sword with a grunt, and Grimmjow darted in to pick it up.

Now Shawlong was at a double disadvantage. He'd been disarmed, with his own weapon turned against him, and was injured. But Shawlong had a pretty fast regeneration rate for a Fraccion, and Grimmjow knew an injury like a dislocation wouldn't last more than a minute. She kicked off to the left, and Shawlong quickly pivoted to follow her movement- but Grimmjow jumped over him again, this time keeping perfect control, and before Shawlong could move to deflect she flipped mid-air and brought the blade down across her opponent's back. Shawlong stumbled, and Grimmjow landed and held the blade against the side of his neck from behind. She was put off by how much she had to reach up to do so.

They stepped away from each other, each knowing the end of a spar when they saw it. Grimmjow tossed Shawlong his sword, and Shawlong bowed to her. Grimmjow nodded at him, and he stood back up- his elbow cracked back into place. His bleeding gash would take longer to heal.

Somehow, knowing she'd inflicted lasting damage didn't make Grimmjow feel any better.


End file.
